Historical note: “Sad Bachelor’s Dear Mr. Corporation COVID Thanksgiving Extravaganza 2020!”, continued! Dear Mr. Giant, I was late getting to the grocery store for this pandemic Thanksgiving, and by the time I did my shopping, the vultures had descended. The shelves were bare, the toilet paper aisle was bloodstained,
Historical note: “Sad Bachelor’s Dear Mr. Corporation COVID Thanksgiving Extravaganza 2020!”, continued! Dear Mr. Michelina, When I found your frozen goods at my local grocer’s, imagine how excited I was! Food hand prepared by the very man who gives stars to the fanciest restaurants across the globe! Surely,
Historical note: “Sad Bachelor’s Dear Mr. Corporation COVID Thanksgiving Extravaganza 2020!”, continued! Dear Mr. Nancy, Look, I know I shouldn’t expect much out of frozen quiche. On one hand, it seems like it would be fine, on the other hand, I dunno, frozen eggs never work out right.
Historical note: “Sad Bachelor’s Dear Mr. Corporation COVID Thanksgiving Extravaganza 2020!”, continued! Dear Mr. Bantam, What, and I mean this with an absolute lack of respect, the eff-word-in-gerund-form eff-word is wrong with you? Let’s start with everything that’s wrong with this box. I almost can’t mock
Historical note: This was the first entry in what I called “Sad Bachelor’s Dear Mr. Corporation COVID Thanksgiving Extravaganza 2020!” I was still married at the time, but my now-ex was in Colorado with her family, and I was alone (as were so many of us) so I celebrated
I was recently at our local Grocery Outlet – and I understand if a highfalutin' Somebody like y'all doesn't know what that is – but it's the kind of grocery store that well-intentioned products that just plain don't sell at a regular grocery
I am a man of small dreams. Nothing too big, nothing too fancy. A cabin in the woods. A day spent laying on the beach. And for a too-short instant, when I learned about your Maple Remedy shampoo, you, sir, gave me a new beautiful dream, only to cruelly snatch
Historical note: This was the second letter written on a particular Christmas evening while visiting my folks on the East Coast, and… well, three rules were born because of this letter. 1. It was responded to by an actual human, and I felt bad about it. This was pretty much
Historical note: This isn’t the first Dear Mr. Corporation letter, but it is the first that is still extant. It’s also the first (out of two) that was sent by email, instead of the postal service. I’ve gotten better since this email — I don’t think it’